| This is a page for all those students who think that professors are born that way. Believe me, I wasn’t. Born that way, I mean. The jobs I’ve had are so varied and some are so odd, that I figure I’ll entertain you with some of my stories here: |
| My first paying job was to help my aunt and uncle who lived next door to us in Summit, NJ to breed and raise Scottish Terriers. I cleaned, trained, cleaned, fed, cleaned, played, and cleaned up after the pups. Not a bad start. It was the 1960’s and the pay was something like a buck an hour. Clearly, I needed a real job. Like most girls my age, I tried babysitting. This may have been one of the dumbest ideas I had before the age of 22. Let’s move on. |
| When I was about fifteen, I got a job doing phone sales for the Handicapped Workers of America. Even though my boss assured me that nobody would assume that I was actually a handicapped person of America, I became suspicious after about a week or two of getting very sympathetic (and somewhat profitable) responses from the folks I called (yes, during the dinner hour). Nobody said I was all that bright back then. Guilty, I quit. |
| In retrospect, that was possibly an impulsive choice because my next job was a dangerous one as a lab assistant in a diagnostic lab in a basement of a scary old Victorian house. The other workers were quiet, too quiet. The boss was pretty much absent. The protective rubber gloves were corroded. And that was the big problem. Some acid ate through my gloves, burned my hands and arms, dripped down onto my sneakers (Converse All Stars), and burned my foot. Boy, was I pissed. I quit. Did I think about worker’s comp? Nope. Told you I wasn’t too bright back then. |
| Next job? Camp counselor. Now we’re talking. I had a blast working in Girl Scout camps as a counselor for a long time… lots of years. The best times were in wilderness settings for weeks on end.. no cabins, no platforms, no kitchen. We cooked out, slept out, lived out. It was grand. The camps were Eagle Island in the Adirondacks, Lou Henry Hoover in NJ, and Madeline Mulford in PA. But Eagle Island was my heart’s home. I eventually became the camp nurse and even drove boats for that camp for a while. All in all, I think I was there for something like 8 years between 1972 and 1992. |
| Back to 1973… I graduated from high school and went to nursing school at Beth Israel in NYC. Why? Long story. I wanted to help people. Nursing was not an excellent fit for me… I tried ob/gyn, ER, pediatrics, ICU, med/surg, you name it. Performance was fine, but I just didn’t like it. Doctors and the hospital hierarchy really bugged me. So, after 5 years I gave it up for…. |
| Bartending. And I thought nursing was bad. I got the job because I could pour a perfect shot of anything in any glass with my eyes shut. Where did I learn that amazing skill? Nursing! It was downhill from there. I needed a real change. I was tired of hospitals, uniforms, being indoors, even. |
| So I moved from NJ to Minnesota and worked with juvenile delinquents at St. Croix Camps in Duxbury, MN. For three years, I counseled kids who were runaways, car thieves, abused, fun, almost-tough, angry, and sad. I loved that job. I loved the work crews cutting and stacking wood, the trips to the local movie theatre, the hikes, the canoe trips down the Mississippi River, the games of pool, breaking up fights in the dorms, van rides to the twin cities. Loved it all. Unfortunately, I hurt my knee badly on a hike in the Porcupine Mountains and had to find something else to do. I was 27 and didn’t even have a Bachelor’s degree. Time to get this brain to school. A mind is a terrible thing to waste. I wanted to go to school on the east coast, near a beach (yes, a beach.). |
| Rhode Island! Small state, it’s all near the beach. I moved to Rhode Island, ready to start school. But, wait! School costs money. I didn’t have money. Have you ever heard of Pell Grants? They were grants given to financially needy students to cover the cost of college tuition and fees and some living expenses. I wanted one. And I figured out that state residents paid less than out-of-staters. So for a whole year I worked at the Dutch Inn, a beachside restaurant in Galilee, RI as a dishwasher so that I could become a state resident and be poor enough to qualify for a Pell Grant. I turned down management’s offers to be a cook, an inventory clerk, a bartender, a waitress. They all made too much money for my purposes. It was dishwashing for me. What a hideous job. It was absolutely disgustingly filthy and exhausting. Whenever I have even a small temptation to dislike my work, I look back on dishwashing and get an attitude tune-up. |
| OK, school. While I was working on a Bachelor’s in Psychology and Women’s Studies I worked the nightshift as a nurse in a rest home. This job paid the bills but made me almost too exhausted to remember anything for my classes. I saw every old movie that was ever made, played thousands of hands of poker with the nurses aides, and amused the insomniacs with stories. I once stopped a very confused old man from calling in the fire department to help him escape. It took all I had to stay awake every night. A good job, not a great job. Did I mention that a mind is a terrible thing to waste? |
| Got the B.A. and had a semester to kill before starting grad school. I was really really tired of working in a rest home and seeing death and disease. Determined to work with youth and life, I got a job as a Doula. Mostly I taught poor young women how to take care of their babies without losing their minds. Hours in line at social services helping women apply for food stamps. Diaper-changing classes. How to cook a healthy soup that a family will eat and that won't break the bank. It was righteous work and I enjoyed it while it lasted. |
| Grad school… can you say assistantships? I spent my first year working as a dean’s assistant and advising undecided students about what majors they might want. Did you know that you can lead a horse to water but… you know. I bet some of those students are STILL undecided! I moved from that position into working on the University New Student Orientation program. I gave the math placement exams, worked with the registrar to plan classes, met with advisors, trained orientation leaders, devised questionnaires, met with groups of parents, and on and on. This was almost like summer camp! Almost, but not quite. In fact, I went back to summer camp a couple of times while I was in grad school…I needed my dose of pine trees, water flashing on the lake, mountains. |
| Once I got my masters degree in psychology, the work started getting to be more of what you might expect. I taught. My first class was in Women’s Studies. Then statistics. Eventually, they gave me a Ph.D.in social psychology and I taught for a year at Mt. Holyoke College. I felt like I was in academic heaven there. Great place to be. After western Massachusetts, I moved to Hawaii and taught Psychology and Women's Studies at the University for a few years, and now I’m at Elmira College. |
| So which job was the best? Well, teaching is good, really good. And you can’t beat the schedule. But sometimes when I close my eyes, I remember the feeling of driving those boats on Upper Saranac Lake… the mist settling around the gunwales, the moon rising, the water lapping, the sun sparkling. I’d do that again. Yes, I would. ........Diane Maluso |